can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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