shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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