Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
