when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
