I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
