You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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