So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
