Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
