easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
