Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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