how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
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