ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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