We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
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We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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