True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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