Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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