she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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