Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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