so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
