You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
As shirtless as possible
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
