Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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