Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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