I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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