i was rollin on her like bob the builder
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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