Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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