Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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