so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize