Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
