I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
