it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
