The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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