White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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