I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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