We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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