So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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