My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
