It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
