he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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