I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
