Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just gift wrapped bread.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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