Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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