Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
