Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
