Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
