And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
