Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
