just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
there's paper in my vomit.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
