I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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