Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
