How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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