Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
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I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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