Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize