Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think I am morally bankrupt
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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