oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
