Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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