I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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