They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
false alarm, still single
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
