There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
