now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
