I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
