i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
