you didnt know i had herpes?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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