She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize