The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
