She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
