How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
