Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
