Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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