Duck Duck Cougar?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
