I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
