I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
birth control should be required to get into college
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
