I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
