New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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