it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
