oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
