So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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