i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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