my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
