if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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