i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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