I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
